Parts of the sequel of bed time story
by Revan Sama
Summary: This is the incomplete version of the sequel, there are only a few parts in and not nessesary in order, I haven't finish it yet and I still don't know when I am going to finish it. Oh and the pairing is still Paragon Male Shepard x Tali.


No word in any form of dictionary published either in printed material or digital format could described how infuriately pissed-off Tali'Shepard vas Normandy was.

First of all, she happened to have the world's most annoying crew members, self-proclaimed 'bestfriends' who incidentally _happens_ to be a band of shameless _Bosh'tet_ ,  
who were also uncles and aunts of _her_ child and also _happens_ to be the number ones source of her irritation at this very moment.

She just wanted a nice evening with her husband...Alone!

And to cut the long story short….

Within twenty-four hours….

The entire crew of the Normandy SR-2.

Saviors of the galaxy.

Organized a party.

In The Shepard's home.

Without Their permission.

---

Someone was at the front door.

She didn't want to open it but since Shepard insisted...

After opening the door.

"..." Glare.

"..."Glare.

"Zorah..."

"Lawson..."

Door shut violently.

"Who was that?" Asked her husband, who was wondering why his wife was locking the front door.

"Nobody."

"ZORAH! Open the door! NOW!"

"...Doesn't that sound like Miranda?"

---

Someone was at the front door...AGAIN...

She didn't want to open it but since Shepard insisted that it could be someone important...

After opening the door.

"..." Glare with promises that your death will be slow and painful.

"..."Glare...But not any glares...Tali Glare !

"Zorah..."

"Girl without last name..."

Door shut violently.

"Who was it now?" Asked her husband, who was wondering why his wife was still locking the front door and this time preparing Chikktika vas Paus for an attack.

"The postman..."

"At night?"

**BAM ! BAM ! BAM !**

"Isn't that the biotic power Shockwave?"

"No..."

**BAM ! BAM ! BAM !**

"ZORAH! You little **** ! Open this ***** Door!"

"...Doesn't that sound like...No, no need to wonder...It's Jack."

----

"What the **** are you ***** doing HERE?!"

"But Jack...I live here." said a confused Shepard.

"Not you ****, I mean HER !" replied Jack while pointing Miranda.

"I don't always get the chance to get out of my work." Replied Miranda.

"You were here last week," Jack muttered darkly.

"There was the meeting with the council."

"So?"

"Rannoch was part of my route."

"The citadel is in the south of the galaxy, Cheerleader."

"So?"

"You can just go South from wherever you were ." **Bitch…**

"I promised Shepard I'd go with him." **Whore…**

"And it so happens that we had something else to discuss about as well."

"Thrilling I'm sure."Inner Jack: **Fucking sissy….**

"Most assuring." Inner Miranda: **Fucking retard….**

Both women glared madly at each other until they were mere inches away from one another.

"Shepard, why don't you bring Jack and Miranda to the living room? I'll bring the drinks over." Tali suggested. **And some sedatives…**

And if Tali would have turn around to look at her husband, she would have saw the look on his face that said : _"PLEASE, for the love of god, don't leave me alone with both of them!"_Shepard sigh deeply and looked back to Miranda and Jack...Who were glaring at each other...AGAIN.

"You know cheerleader, before coming here, you should have go to Therum."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yeah, I have heard that you can have ***** awesome view...inside the volcano."

"Oh yes?"

"Yeah."

"Well I thought that before coming here, you should have go to Noveria."

"Oh Yeah?"

"Yes, I have heard that the weather would have been a perfect match with your...interesting choice of clothes."

"Say the cheerleader who has the clothes of a whore."

Both women turned to each other and their hair...huh...Miranda's hair practically bristled like a cat going on a full-out cat fight and Jack's head was...well...still bald.

----

"That's the third glass you break tonight." Kelly observed.

"I can always buy a new one," Tali didn't look at her.

She was still looking at her husband who was talking with Miranda.

"I know you can, Tali, but there aren't that many crystal-smiths on Rannoch."

"I can afford them."

"But those belonged to Shepard's mother's. She gave them to him as wedding gifts."

"Bosh'tet."

---

"Commander Shepard will be mightily upset when he finds out you broke his glass, Jeff." said EDI

"He can afford it."

"I know, but there aren't that many crystal glass makers on Rannoch."

"That's a good idea, EDI." Joker reaching for another glass and crushed it.

"And did you know that belonged to Hannah Shepard? Shepard's mother gave them to him as wedding gifts."

"I'm *****."

"Yes, you are."

----

Jack glared at everybody. Challenging anybody who would dare to laugh, or even dare to crack a smile. But so far so good, it doesn't seem that luck is on her side either.

Suddenly she felt a tug on her arm.

Looking down only to see Rael. He has two microphones in his hands and held up one to her.  
Sighing deeply and cursing the idiot,-cough- joker-cough-, who decided to make a karaoke party, Jack accepted the microphone, she didn't want to upset the adorable young half Quarian.  
Gripping the microphone tightly in her right hand, Jack felt a small hand slid into her left.

Rael grinned at her and spoke softly, "C-can I s-sing with aunty jack too?"

The hell?...NO...Must...Resist...

" 'sigh'...Yeah you can..."

Rael was looking into the list of songs until the evil demon of the cursed hell, worst enemy of jack said with a gentle (false probably) voice : "Rael, How about this song?"

"This one?" asked the young boy.

"Yes this one." The demon pointed out a song.

Jack peered from the top of Rael's little head and stiffen. Of all the ****** accursed songs…..No way in hell !!

Jack whirled around towards the former Cerberus agent. Killer intent brimming Jack and everybody present could feel the spiking animosity except for Rael.

The cheerleader must die…The cheerleader must die…The cheerleader must die… Jack chanted in her mind. Murderous look glaring obscenely at Miranda Lawson.

Until...

Everyone was shocked, they thought that Jack would kill Miranda but instead she was grinning like mad. Then she turned down to be face to face with young Rael Shepard and asked.

"Hey Rael, how about aunty Miranda sing with us?"

Miranda smirk suddenly disappear and she thought.

_"What...?! There is no way that-"_

Then she felt a small tug on her clothes and saw a gentle and innocent looking Rael grinning at her.

"Y-you sing too aunty M-Miranda?...Please?"

Before she could answer she could still feel Jack's smirk that said :

_"If I am going to hell then I will bring you with me."_

-----

Tali had felt the hostility between Miranda and Jack.

So she decided that only the two of them should sing.

Rael was a bit disappointed but he could still listen to his two aunty sing so he was still happy.

However...

"I hope that you know how to sing cheerleader...because if you don't, do not blame me if everyone think that your voice is **** horrible." said Jack with a small smirk

"That is my line." replied an arrogant Miranda

Everyone was waiting for them to start.

**_"Song begin."_**

Jack: I love you.

Miranda: You love me.

Both thoughts: HELL NO !!!

Jack and Miranda: We're a happy family.

Both thoughts: Heck NO !!!

Miranda : With a great big..."disgust voice" hug and a...kiss from me to you.

"Jack thought" Just try that and you will beg me to die !

Jack: Won't you say..."disgust voice" you...love...me too.

"Both thoughts" Try not to throw up...Try not to throw up.

Jack and Miranda: I ...love...you, you...love...me.

Jack: We're...best friends like friends...should be...

"Jack thought" I loath you very much...

Miranda: Won't you say you love me too.

"Miranda thought" God I hope you won't.

Jack: ...I lo...HELL NO !!

Miranda:...?

Jack : I **** HATE YOU, YOU **** HATE ME.  
WE'RE A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.  
WITH A GUN FULL OF LEAD.  
AND WE JUST SHOT OFF "THE GUY WHO WROTE THIS *** SONG" HEAD.

...

_silence..._

Everyone began to applaud the duo, but not because they were good...because it was too ridiculous and horrible to listen.

In the corner, Legion, who was next to Shepard, was being confused.

"Shepard-Commander,...we...don't understand the concept of this..."

"Don't worry, nobody does..."

"And when it started we had a dysfunctional problem."

"A dysfunctional problem?"

"Yes, we had an 'error system' message reloading while it continue its clamor..."

----

"Are aunty Jack and Miranda alright?" Asked a worried young Rael Shepard.

"No, they are not," Joker drink his beer.

"Oh…Are they sick?"

"Yeah. In the head."

----

It was really quiet on the Normandy.

For Kenneth Donnelly, working on the ship alone with his friend Gabriella Daniels (Gabby) was the most annoying thing to do. Everyone has left the ship to go...somewhere.  
Now that he think about it, when everybody left the ship, they were exited, almost...joyful.

And nobody told them anything about it.

Something smells fishy...and it wasn't his socks like last time.

"Kenneth, I just received a message from Kelly Chambers." said Gabby.

"What? She actually notice us? Oh, well maybe this time we will finally know where they are."

"..."

"..."

"WHAT THE...?!"

On the screen there was a cake with candles and a big scratch Happy Birthday message and below it there was a second message that said :

"Happy New years.  
From Everyone who are at the Shepard home party.  
To engineer N°1 and engineer N°2."

"..."

"It's been four years! When is she going to learn our damn names?!" Said an outraged Kenneth.

"Is that the only thing you find upsetting?"replied Gabby.

"And Why the hell weren't we invited to the party?!"

"Kenneth..."

"I mean, I know we are always on the engineering deck but still..."

"KENNETH!"

"Huh? What's now Gabby?"

"Something bother me..."

"What?"

"Since everyone left the ship, even joker..."

"...?...!"

Both of them yelled : "WHO THE HELL IS PILOTING THE DAMN SHIP ?"

------

"Have we the right to smoke a last cigarette?"

"Kenneth you don't even smoke and beside there is no need to dramatizing, after all it is the ship who..."

"In which we are more likely to die."

Gabby sighed, her friend Kenneth Donnelly has been very nervous since they notice that nobody was piloting the ship...and it was still working like 'somebody' was piloting it.

But who?

Gabby decided that it was time to take some action and stop listening to Kenneth whining.

"Anyway I think we sh-"

Suddenly, everything was dark. Apparently someone has cut off all the lights in the engineering deck.

"But it's all dark in here!"

"And it smells very bad...Kenneth..."

"What? But I didn't do anything !...well...yet."

"That is what you said last...Wait...YET? Do that mean that you have to go to the bathroom NOW that we are maybe under attack?"

"Uhm...Yeah?" replied a nervous Kenneth.

Gabby put her hand on her face and said.

"Can't you just...hold back? We are under attack here!"

"Ah? Because we are more effective while we are under attack in stopping to go to the toilets?"

"You have an elegant way to put it. Let's go to the 'Combat Information Center' deck and then you can...free yourself of all your...effectiveness."

Before he could answer Gabby threw Kenneth in the elevator (and knock his head on the wall by the way) and they waited until they were on the second deck.

It was all dark, just like the engineering deck, everything seems normal...except...

On Joker's chair, there was someone or...something that was touching at every single buttons (which none of them knew if that was a good sign or not).

The...person turned to be face to face with gabby and Kenneth.

And the only thing he or she said (with a surprising Russian accent) before running after them was :

_**"Welcome...**__**FRESH MEAT !!!**__**"  
**_  
The creature had only one eye, four nostril, black skin, real snakes hair and an impressive long tongue (which we don't want to know for what kind of use he or she has with it).

Kenneth fainted and while Gabby was running with him in her arms (He was damn heavy by the way!) she had only one thought :

**What . ****The . Heck ?**


End file.
